13 July 2009

Bad girl shoes make the world more fun

I love shoes. Bad girl shoes. Big, sexy shoes. Shoes that make noise. Shoes with accoutrements: ties and buckles and taps and bows. I mean, I absolutely love shoes. Why? Because I don't have a crown and an ermine cape.

Who cares why? I used to be much larger than I am now, and at that time I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. But I could look down and if I was wearing hot shoes, I felt a little better about myself. Because there was something cute, flashy, noisy, right there on the ends of my legs.

I get tired of Imelda Marcos jokes. Once because Exley said I couldn't do it, I went for an entire year without buying a pair of shoes. That didn't hurt me a bit. I must have had at least fifty pairs, so I could just shop around in my own closet and find something that felt new.

Now I choose not to buy new shoes, because I have put myself on a strict budget and that's where I'm staying until my bills are all paid off. But I don't care. I have shoes and boots and walkers. I have more shoes than I have clothes to go with them. I have Fat Babies and Candies and Bongos and Mudds. Cowboy boots, ankle boots, platforms, and even a pair of wedgies that look like they are made out of an old grey gym shirt. None of my shoes are expensive, because inexpensive means... MORE.

My son says that if he were rich he'd wear a new pair of socks every day. But if I had a big stack of cash, I'd have a lot of expensive shoes. I'm not interested in owning a giant wardrobe because I don't like to shop for clothes, but if you have enough moolah, you can get people to make handmade shoes to fit your feet. Can you imagine the luxury of that?

I clean house in my platform heels with the stereo blaring. That's just the way I roll. If I can't make a job fun, I can't do it. And, because I'm home alone most of the week, there is no one here to roll their eyes or smirk. And what difference does it make, as long as I get done what needs to be done?

It worked for June Cleaver, and it works for me.

If I'm going somewhere special, I start with the shoes and build the ensemble from the ground up. When I buy a pair of shoes, I know what they should be worn with, whether or not I own that article. Thank goodness my mama made sure I could sew.

I know I'm going to get hurt someday. Don't think I don't. I know that you can fall off your shoes and twist an ankle or fall in the street or even pitch headfirst down a flight of stairs. But I take that risk for one clear reason.

I love big bad girl shoes.

I have big feet - size 10. But so does Liz Taylor, and it hasn't stopped her from wearing some of the most exquisitely styled shoes I have seen. Big feet, big shoes. And big shoes are the bomb.

I think I've told you that sometimes I work up a sweat following the moves on a Christina Aguilera video. I wear my favorite platform heels for that. Oh, I love how she jumps when she sings "Ain't No Other Man Like You" - boom boom boom.

Bad girl shoes. Big bad shoes. They make the world go 'round and 'round.


Tristan Robin Blakeman said...


powdergirl said...

Oh my!
I love you!
Sorry, I'm a blurter.
I've got 'feet like a dancer' according to those who know. Big. Ugly. Feet.
I could care less, it's the shoes baby, the shoes.
If I did housework, I would do it in high-heels.
My chiro said to me once that I needed to abstain from wearing high-heels at all.

I asked him how much he'd f'en well had to drink that morning.

Yeah Baby, it's the shoes.

essie said...

OMG I've gotta have those shoes, I must have them, I need them!
They belong with all my other shoes(read: they belong to me).
I don't have enough shoes yet, there are still some empty spaces in my shoe room hehehehehe.
I so understand you.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I like to look at shoes, but I'm not into owning them. I guess I'm just missing that gene. I have a few pairs of sandals for summer, 2 pairs of shoes I wear in the winter, but mostly, I wear no shoes at all. :-)

eva said...

How funny that we blogged about shoes at the same time! Hmmm your blog post nearly inspired me to get some silly, high heeled shoes! I have problems with my feet though, my toes are squished. Apparently it's what happens to girls who wear high heels to much, but I was born that way. I'm sure platforms would be ok, though! At least they wouldn't do anything to my toes..

I need money for shopping:)

The Green Stone Woman said...

You probably feel about shoes the way I feel about clothes and there was a time not too long ago when I needed something new all the time. Now I'm on a strict budget, but I have enough clothes piling out of my too small closet. I should buy a bigger closet. Maybe I would feel the need to sill it up again, but I can't, because I have to buy groceries and dog and cat food. Shoes are of secondary importance to me, an afterthought, though I'm getting better about them. I wear them out very quickly and also wear a size 10.

Goth Mum said...

Thank you for showing me such lovely shoes. I have just given up the heels because of a growing baby bump and a very bad back. I live vicariously through your beautiful footwear.

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave King said...

I suppose I ought to say something like "I couldn't possibly comment!" - only I love big bad girl shoes, too!

Woodsman said...

I guess you are in luck that your man has something about boots. With a collection of about 30 pair and the same size as you wear!

thecrookedstamper said...

I have non-normal-sized feet, so as beautiful as these shoes are, I could never wear them. I have a custom-made pair of shoes, but out of necessity! Because of this, I have never said "omg, a shoe sale". ;-) But ALL my shoes are expensive because of the lengths I need to go to find anything to fit. So excessive/obsessive shoe-buying? Not I! More money for STAMPS! :-)

Shawn said...

I, too, am a self-confessed Shoe Whore!! It's definitely a passion, an obsession, a life-style!! I am currently at my heaviest weight ever, but wearing slammin' shoes makes me feel better. I, too, love the sound they make, the feel of them on my feet, the way they look when I adoringly gaze down at them!! I have over 100 pair ...each in its own box, with a picture (side view) taped to the end of the box. This makes it easier to find and organize. All wedges together, all "hooker" shoes together, all boots together, etc. Thanx for sharing your passion with us. This post had me nodding my head and laughing out loud!!!

Ali said...

shoes are the top of everything!

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon this blog entry today, and I am so relieved. I am not the only woman with big feet who LOVES sexy shoes!! I adore stilettos, classy pumps and funky sandals! Love shoes! Love the blog too btw!